Dating can be complicated. From knowing what to wear on your first date to making sure you don’t say the wrong thing, it seems like there is always a rule you should be following. The thing is, the more you stress over it, the more complicated it will get. As leading matchmakers, we know exactly what 5 first date faux-pas that will definitely stop you from getting a second date. Time and time again we see clients who have struggled in the past to make it past the first date, never knowing what they did wrong. My Top Matchmaker not only specializes in making perfect matches but also coaching clients when it comes to dating and relationships. Listed below are the 5 first date faux-pas that should always be avoided.
We live in an era where our phones seem to be permanently attached to our hands, subconsciously checking it every couple of minutes without any real reason. One of the biggest mistakes you can make on a first date is pulling out your phone and checking it for any reason. Answering a call or a text, checking the scores of the game, checking the time, checking notifications, these are all major first date faux-pas. One of the biggest turn off’s when on a date is feeling like you are a burden or that your date wishes they were elsewhere. Often this happens when your date is constantly checking their phone. It is simple, keep your phone in your pocket or your purse until the end of the date when or if you are ready to exchange numbers.
Nobody wants to feel like they are being interviewed on a first date. The conversation should flow back and forth naturally. If you find yourself asking question after question, your date will feel like they are in an interrogation room. There is a difference between asking questions naturally and quizzing someone. We advise you to keep the conversation light and let it flow from one subject to the next as naturally as possible. If you find that there is a lull in the conversation, try to keep the questions light to make your date feel comfortable and confident.
The last thing your date wants to talk about is your past relationship. Talking about an ex is a huge faux-pas for a first date. Dating is for people who are looking to move forward in life, who want to find new love and happiness. If you are bringing up your ex on a first date, you date will most likely get the sense that you are not over the relationship. Showing that you still care or have resentment towards your ex is a huge turn off for many people. As professional dating coaches, we encourage each of our clients to avoid discussing their past relationship(s) on the first date, even the first few dates, with someone new. We believe that getting back into the dating world should be liberating, a space where you can leave the past in the past and give yourself a real chance at finding new love. The only way to do this successfully is to leave your ex out of the conversation!
Conversations are a two-way street! One of the worst things you can do on a first date is to spend the majority of the time talking about yourself without asking about your date in attempt to get to know them. The long, drawn-out monologue about who you are, what your interests are, your past, etc. should all be part of a back and forth conversation, not a single-sided one. If you spend the majority of your date taking up the entire conversation to talk about yourself, your date will get the impression that you are self-involved and lack the qualities most people look for in a partner.
Nothing is more unattractive than a sloppy drunk on a first date! If your first date is planned at a location that serves alcohol, we advise avoiding drinking altogether, but if you do decide to participate in a drink limit yourself to 1 or 2 at most. There is absolutely nothing attractive about someone getting sloshed on a first date. While it may be nerves, your date could be lead to the assumption that you have a drinking problem, and that will definitely stop you from getting a second date.
If you are new to dating again, consider memorizing our 5 first date faux-pas and try avoiding them at all costs when going on a first date. We want you to have the most enjoyable time on your new journey to find love which is why we offer our expert advice to help you along the way. If you are in the SWFL area and are looking for a personal matchmaker and dating coach, call MTM today!