Let’s be honest, going on a first date with someone can be intimidating. You often worry about what you’ll talk about, whether the conversation will flow naturally, will there be the dreadful awkward silence, will small talk rule the conversation, making it impossible to truly get to know the other person? It is only natural to feel a sense of anxiety before a first date, especially if it is your first date in years, but letting your feelings of nervousness get in the way of making a true connection would be foolish. Take into consideration these 10 questions to ask on the first date to help you ease the awkwardness or nervous feelings as well as initiate thoughtful conversation between you and your match.
This question is important for a few reasons. It is a natural way to introduce the person’s career (unless they are retired) and give them the opportunity to talk about it in a natural way. It sounds much less abrasive than, “What do you do for a living?” If you truly want to get to know your date and see if your lifestyles will match, you need to know what there day-to-day life really looks like. Fitting in with someone’s daily life is important when you start looking for love and deciding what is important in a partner.
When you begin the dating process again, you need to remember that you are taking the time and steps to get to know someone, to truly see if there is a future there. Asking about your date’s family is important. If they are parents or grandparents, you can be sure that they are proud and love bragging about them to anyone and everyone. Watch their face light up as they talk about their kids, see how proud they are when they show you pictures of their grandchild at soccer practice; you can learn a lot about someone by the way they talk about their family and the type of relationships they have.
We love this question because it allows you to see how compatible you are with your date in terms of traveling. Surprisingly, traveling and how you travel can be a deal breaker. Some people LOVE traveling, while others find comfort in staying close to home. There is no right or wrong way to be but being on the same page in terms of traveling is crucial for a relationship to succeed. This question also allows you and your date the opportunity to see if you have traveled to any of the same places; was your experience in that location similar? Did you see similar sights? Did you experience the culture the same way? Traveling can be extremely romantic and is a great way to bond with your partner. If you have a love for travel, maybe one day you can explore the world together!
Sounds simple right? But this simple question can bear a lot of weight. Simply taking the time to ask how someone’s day was and truly listening and responding to them can move mountains in terms of relationships. A lot of times as you get older, your priorities change and what you look for in a partner differs. Communication and friendship are important; having a partner that listens and truly cares how your day is, every day, is ideal.
This question is a character question. You can get to know a lot about a person based on their biggest passion, the thing that gets them out of bed every morning and pushes them to be better and do better. Plus, having a passion in life means they are motivated by something each day and gives insight into their personal values. Who doesn’t love a passionate person?
This question is great because everyone’s answer will most likely be different. You and your date can go back and forth on your personal bucket lists and discuss why certain things are on that list and how you plan on checking them off. Maybe you can check some off together on dates in the future. You can get to know more about your date’s adventurous side, their personal or professional goals, etc. all based on this simple question.
We like this question because it allows you to see what exactly inspires your date. Most likely when they answer the question, it will be followed with a story or an explanation that digs into why this particular person is or was so inspirational. A lot of times this person will have helped shape them into the person they are today and that is always fascinating and intimate to know about someone.
In the end we all seek chemistry, and for all of us, when we finally let someone in, the sense of intimacy from a quality sincere question can let us discern a clearer path to what you truly feel.
To create sparks a couple needs flint and stone, to create fire a couple needs kindling, sticks, lighter fluid, and a match. The entirety of what ignites the elusive elixir of chemistry is a mystery but you can still use intelligent building blocks of conversation to build an insightful foundation of new romance.
If you want some insight as to what you can plan for date number two, ask this question! Not only will it help you see if your lifestyles fit together, it will give you some ideas on future dates and adventures you can explore together.
You are clearly on a date because you are looking for a relationship, a partnership, someone who you are compatible with, therefore it is okay to ask your date what they value most in a relationship. Getting to know what you each desire in a relationship is important. It goes hand in hand with your personal love language. You may not speak the same love language but that doesn’t mean you aren’t compatible. It is all about open and honest communication. Once you know what the other person is searching for and desires in the relationship you can decipher if that is something you too desire and are capable of producing.
Now that you have 10 solid questions to ask on a first date to help conversation flow nicely, it is time to get out there and start dating. A bit of advice here, remember to hold eye contact, look directly in the eye, and smile when you are talking to your date. Kindness to all makes love the potential not the problem. Don’t be afraid to be romantic and complimentary, it is the best form of flattery.
If you are looking for a professional matchmaking service in Naples or Sarasota, MyTopMatchmaker is here to help! We can help guide you through the first phases of dating to make the process simple and enjoyable.